After being a member of Cafemom for, oh, five years and being inactive for at least the last year, I've decided to leave the site. No big deal but I do have lots of journal entries that I want to be able to look back on. Some aren't so pleasant but we can't forget the past that has brought us to our present. I've decided just to C&P them here.
Cover that bottle! Sept 22, 2007
This was something I saw on another one of my groups and I thought the
point was so well made that I would share it. But before you read it
understand this is not in any way to stir up conflict. It should not be
taken "literally". It's only to make a point in comparisson to how
people view the breast vs. the bottle. It is not at all bashing a
mother who chooses to bottle/formula feed, but rather the person that
says women should not bf in public, or that breasts are a sexual object
(an exaggeration to the matter if you will). So you need to understand
that before moving on, at the risk of taking anything the wrong way.
Quoted from here on:
Women should cover up their bottles when they are feeding their babies...
I
wasn't exposed to bottle-feeding much growing up and seeing it makes me
very uncomfortable. I mean if you think about it, a bottle is a
substitute for the breast, and since breasts are sexual, doesn't that
make a bottle kind of like a dildo?! Eww, gross.
When I see a
mom bottle-feeding, I don't know where to look. I can't look directly at
the bottle or the baby because the idea of feeding a baby formula makes
me sick to my stomach. It's just gross. And the way babies sound when
they eat??? They slurp and suck and dribble formula everywhere! It's
just nasty and it *smells*! I shouldn't have to see that! And what about
my young son? How am I supposed to explain to him why a woman is
bottle-feeding? I mean, he's too young to understand how different parts
of the body function. It's going to be hard to explain to him that
women actually choose not to nurse, or can't for one reason or another.
It'll probably upset him to know that lots of babies don't get
"nurse-nurse" like he does. I don't want to have to deal with him being
emotionally scarred by seeing bottles. And imagine the therapy bills
I'll have to pay for when he's older!
So bottle-feeding moms
should either go into a bathroom, re-lactate so they can use their
breasts in public, or cover up with a blanket. Sure, I know the
excuses....bathrooms are dirty and no one should have to eat in there.
But women could still re-lactate. Oh, yeah I know how hard it would be,
but ya know, we DO have nice pumps available nowadays. She could get a
good supply going for the sole purpose of feeding in public. If she
would just use her breasts, we wouldn't have to see those indecent
bottles all the time. And if she has a hard time re-lactating, she could
always just cover up with a blanket when she has to use a bottle. Oh I
know some babies aren't comfortable under a blanket. Re-breathing their
own carbon dioxide for 20+ minutes must come at a price, but who cares?
At least I wouldn't have to see bottles.
And if a woman doesn't
want to go through all that trouble, she could just schedule outings
around the baby's feedings. A bottle-fed baby only has to eat, what?
Every 3-4 hours? She can just bottle-feed at home, go out, and rush back
with a screaming baby if he needs to eat sooner than the schedule
allows.
I'll admit that I'm uncomfortable with bottle-feeding in
public. And as an American, I have a right to not have to be exposed to
that sort of thing. Women should be aware of everyone else and
accomodating to all others. After all, our right not to be offended is
more important than a baby's right to eat, right?
response to a critical reply:
"I
turned it around so people could see how ridiculus is is for ANY woman
to hide to feed her child. It sounds a bit ridiculous when I say women
should cover up their bottles, huh? I hope it makes you think."
Disclaimer...
Ok,
so forgive me for assuming people would see the sarcasm in the post
below. I don't *actually* think women should cover up their bottles. I
used all the arguments against nursing in public and turned them around
to bottle-feeders in an attempt to show people just how idiotic it is to
ask women to hide while feeding their baby.
The point is,
breasts are not lewd or indecent. If you see a little nipple, get over
it. Breasts are for feeding babies, first and foremost. The day you hide
your bottles is the day I hide my breasts.
Also...
I
realize the dildo reference may make some people's jaws drop in
disbelief, but that was possibly the most important part of the post. It
seems the main reason people freak out about nursing in public is
because breasts are also sexual, therefore should be covered all the
times. Well, a nipple on a bottle was designed to replace the original
thing, just like a dildo is meant to replace a penis. Sorry, but it's
true. If it sounds outlandish to you, then maybe you should reconsider
just how sexual the breast is. It's not sexual to feed a child at the
breast any more than it is to feed a child with a bottle.
IF (and
that's a big "if") nursing WERE sexual, then I would assume people
would have the same reaction to a bottle as they would to a dildo. But
they don't. It's something to think about anyways.
_________________
It took 40 weeks and 3 days for me to be able to say...January 11, 2008
IT'S A GIRL!!!!!
Maddalyn Elizabeth was born at 11:31 p.m. 01/09/08 (her aunt's16th bday) weighing in at 7 lb 6 oz, 19 3/4".
Mild
contrax started around 10:30 a.m. Mom, Christan and I went to eat some
yummy Olive Garden and then to the mall for a walk. Christan wanted to
know where we were going. Mom told her "Nowhere. We are exercising
Mommy." After a few laps of the mall, Christan was done walking so I
went home. Contrax were still coming every 5 minutes but not really
bothering me. I drank lots of water and after Joseph got home from
school, decided I better try to rest "just in case." I dozed for about
an hour. Contrax were still around 4-5 minutes apart until I got up.
Then they were staying at 2 1/2 minutes apart but still not lasting
long.
I got the dishes done while waiting for my DH to get back from
bidding on a job, made a quickie supper for Joseph and kept track of the
contrax which were starting to get stronger. Mom and Christan came
over to the house and when DH was home, I told him it was "time." His
"job" was to figure out what to do with the kids. I really felt most
comfortable about them just staying home with him. That way I didn't
have to worry about them at all or the disruption in their lives. DH
decided it would be okay to stay with the kids and come to the hospital
after the baby was born. He understands that birthing with my best
friends is a very comforting and special experience for me and that the
best thing he could do for our family is take care of the little
ones....so....I called all my girlfriends and told them we were heading
into the hospital.
When I got there, I met my first opposition...the
nurse. She told me where my gown was and to put this tube top like
thingy on for the monitors. I told her I wouldn't be having CFM. She
told me that that is what they do. I informed her again that I am not
having CFM and my midwife is well aware. She gave me that quick,
tight-lipped "okay", turned and off she went. I told mom "Great. I'm
going to have to fight for anything." However, I was WRONG! A
different nurse came in to care for me during labor. She was VERY
respectful of my birth plan and never once TOLD me what they were going
to do. She asked "do you mind if" "is it okay if we" and was
wonderful. I let them do their baseline checks. Cervix a tight 3.
After an hour in the hot tub, a tight 4 but enough change for them to
keep me. Mind you ladies, this reading of 4 cm was at about 9:45 p.m.
The contrax were coming much stronger. Not really longer, but closer.
They never really were on top of each other as I had experienced
before. I was laboring sitting up in the bed. I like my momma to rub
my belly and my girlfriend Melody rubs my legs while I breathe through
contrax. Rebecca (my midwife) said "Jen, you have to get off of that
baby's head." I was having very intense contrax and could not really
think. I thought she was telling me to lay down LOL. She told me to
just roll over to my side which I did but the intensity was so strong
and I was so tense. My eyes were shut (as I always tend to do) and I
could only hear some of what was going on around me. Mostly, I heard my
mom telling me what a good job I was doing and to stay on top of it. I
heard Rebecca tell me to relax my body and let my baby come out. As
soon as I was able to make my legs and back relax instead of being
arched...I felt it. I tucked my tailbone under and could feel the baby
beginning to crown. With the next contrax, I threw one leg up (my
girlfriend caught it for me) and told them all "she's coming." Her head
was out with one push. Rebecca unwrapped her cord from her neck and
her body just shot out. Rebecca told me she actually did a little
somersault onto the bed. There were a few seconds of silence before my
momma said "we got another GIRL!" Maddalyn yelled for a good 30
minutes. I had her tucked up in the football hold covered by my boob
(yes ladies...remember, they ARE big boobs) trying to talk her into a
snack and some comfort. She wasn't having it. She just wanted to
hollar a while. I told her to go ahead and clear out those lungs as I
chanted "momma was right, momma was right" over and over. I KNEW I was
having a girl! She's absolutely perfect in every way and nursing like a
champ. Shoot, my milk is already in!
_____________
Maddalyn's hospital visit January 29, 2008
I don't know how many times I said that if I'd have known how easy
pregnancy was in the winter, I'd have had all of my children in the
winter...but now I've changed my mind. Colds are not nice to newborns. Christan (my 3 year old) had a cold when Maddalyn was not quite a week
old...and passed it on (even with handwashing and germ-x). Maddalyn's
symptoms started with a stuffy nose and cough. Her cough was getting
worse, making her gag and even throw up. We went to her doctor Monday
and her O2 sats were low enough that he wanted to admit her for
observation. His main concern was how her sats were in the night when
she was sleeping deep. She was hooked up to an O2 sat monitor, heart
monitor and respiration tracker. They took a swab to test for influenza
and a snot sample to test for RSV and a chest Xray. Her tests all came
back negative but her O2 sats kept dropping into the low 80s during the
night and the put her on oxygen. This morning I took off the oxygen to
nurse her and they left it off. The doctor wanted to make sure her
sats were okay off of oxygen for a while before releasing us home...just
to be on the safe side. Her sats stayed up for the most part and we
just got home. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I was
pleasantly surprised about our accommodations in the hospital. We had
our own room, they fed me, we coslept with no questions asked. Now I
need to go make her mad and suck out her snot so she can breathe.
___________
Roller Girl Dies; Mother is Reborn February 28, 2008
A little background...Late summer 2006, I realized that there were
some things in my life that needed to change. Though I love being a
mother, I needed something to call my own. Something that I did just
for me. For so many years I had put myself on the back burner while
tending to the needs of my children, husband, house and job. An
opportunity presented itself...a new roller derby league. It sounded
very interesting...a great opportunity for exercise, meeting other
women, getting out some aggression in a healthy way and doing something
different with my life....all for me.
I asked my husband if he
would come watch me if I were a rollergirl. He kind of laughed and said
sure...so I joined and my alter ego "Sassy Crass" was born. That is
when the battle began. He didn't think I was serious. He did NOT want
me to be a rollergirl. I wouldn't budge. I was finally putting my foot
down and doing something I wanted to do for ME...not for anyone else.
We had plenty of fights about my continuing to derby.
It had
been 20 years since I had skated and I really wasn't very steady. With
lots of practice...and falls...I got more confident on my wheels. I was
never fast enough or surefooted enough to be a jammer, but loved being a
blocker...hitting the other girls...trying to knock them down. I got
to be in one official bout (intraleague) before I found out I was
pregnant. I knew I would return to derby and missed skating every day.
I stayed active in the league by serving on the Board of Directors as
secretary.
Toward the end of my pregnancy, I started to worry
about not being able to skate again. Physically? Oh, physically, I
would have no problems. Granted, I would have to get my cardio back in
shape after being inactive for so long...but once a blocker, always a
blocker! I started to wonder if I could really leave my little baby.
I have breastfed all of my children and never pumped. I work from home
so don't have the need or, honestly, the desire to pump. My husband
has never really been very active in the care of our little ones until
they are quite a bit older which is partially my fault for wanting to do
everything. He also does not have the most patience in the world.
Okay...he has very little. I feared that the stress of taking care of a
new baby PLUS the other kiddos would do him in and honestly, I worried
about the children. (Not that he would purposely hurt them by any
means...but...you know....)
I went to practice a few weeks ago to
support my girls and keep up with the goings on and several people
asked when I would be coming back. No one was pressuring me, but it
really made me think. Though I miss it...VERY much...I couldn't commit
to "when." I started thinking about it more and more...and more...and
finally talked to my husband about it. I am in a different place,
mentally, now than I was when I joined derby. When I joined, my
youngest was 2 and not dependent on Mommy at all. I guess my priorities
have changed. Doing something ONLY for ME is not a priority.
Last
night at our business meeting, I told the girls. I told them that I
could not commit the time to roller derby that was needed. That for the
first six months of Maddalyn's life, I would be her ONLY source of food
and that while I would be happy to continue with my responsibilities as
secretary, I could not commit to returning to skate at any time in the
near future. We are a very new league and our bylaws were just
completed a few months ago. Little did I know, there were revisions
made that needed voting on....one of which requiring officers on the
Board of Directors to be ACTIVE, paying members. Seems as though my
days as a rollergirl are gone. I will forever love the sport and the
women in my league.
Honestly, I was kind of surprised with the
ease of which I let go of my roller derby dream. I do know that I am
always welcome to rejoin but I fought SO hard with my husband...at least
weekly if not daily...over "the damned rollergirls."
Today I
got a note from my husband (he leaves for work hours before the
household is awake). It says "You are a good mom and seem to continue
to progess as a mom (all the learning and communicating with other moms,
I guess? [yes YOU...my cafemoms]) and it makes my heart get mushy when I
see it."
I may have been a mom for 13 years now but there is
something about having a new baby that changes me...every time. I
guess I just feel that doing right by my children, being a loving,
giving mother, putting their needs before mine...IS "doing something for
me" by taking the best care of the ones that I love and created.
__________________
What next? March 22, 2008
It's been about a month since I got away from the house and the older
kids (I still consider Maddalyn and I to be one person). The kids have
been on spring break since March 13th. DH worked all last weekend on a
side job and then worked his normal job this week plus finishing up on
the side job through Wednesday which means that when he was home, he was
sleeping. We are trying to switch to cloth and I had a great stash
given to me, but I only have 1 cover and nothing to help with at night
so I picked up some fleece and wool from the thrift store to make some
covers. I told DH I would need his help this weekend with the kids so
that I could get them made. Well, he had to run to KC and said he would
be gone about three hours. So this is my attempt at sewing....
Yes, I am wearing Maddalyn. I was trying to fix the bobbin (thead kept getting hung up) and I popped the
plate off that goes under the foot. In trying to fix that, I completely broke it. So...I went to the trusty PC to see
if I could find a replacement part. I went back to the sewing machine and noticed long locks of blonde hair
all around....I found Christan....
I am usually so good about putting up scissors as this is the SAME haircut she got last summer from her
brother. My DH is going to FLIP out when he gets home. Meanwhile, I'm so frazzled, I don't even care
anymore. So now, my daughter has a skullet type hair style AGAIN, my sewing machine is broken and I
STILL don't have anything to put on Maddalyn at night.
_____________
Jen's DIY fleece wrap March 26, 2008
I decided to try my hand at sewing a fleece wrap after failing with
the fleece pull-on patterns I found online. Here's what you
need....fleece, polyester thread, velcro, 1/4" elastic, ballpoint needle
90/14. I recommend trying it first with some "throw away" fabric so
that you can make any changes without ruining your fleece. I used
flannel for my first attempt...and DID change my pattern a little. A
wonderful thing about fleece is that no hemming is required!
Make
your pattern. Take a wrap that fits your baby well, fold it in half and
stretch the elastic so that the wrap lays flat. Then trace it onto
cardboard. (Gift boxes work GREAT!)
Feel
the edges of your wrap for where the elastic begins and ends. Mark
that on the cardboard so that you can use it for reference later.
(The triangle is the elastic reference point.)
For the built-in soaker, I used
Katrina's "Extra layer for the wetzone" pattern
but in the future, I think I will use a rectangle shape for ease of
sewing. Place the straight edge of your wrap pattern along a folded
edge of your fabric. Cut out your wrap and soaker.
Pin soaker to wrap. Sew in using zig-zag stitch.
Cut
your elastic. The amount you need will depend on the size of your
child. I used half the length between my reference points. For
example, between the elastic reference points in the back is 8" so I
used 4" of elastic. Secure elastic at the ends about 1/2" below the
edge of your fabric centered under your reference points by sewing
across the width of the elastic with a zig-zag
stitch. Be sure your elastic is flat before securing the second end so that you don't have to deal with
twisted elastic.
(Wrap with all elastic secured)
Hold your elastic tight and sew down the length. My machine has a setting for elastic, but zigzag would
work. I actually pull it tight by holding both ends of the elastic but
I can't do that and take the picture at the same time (LOL)
Cut
two strips of BOTH sides of velcro (loop and hook) about 1 1/2" long.
Pull apart the hook and loop 1 1/2" sections and place them side by
side (voila! laundry tab). Place about 1/2 to 1" below the edge of
your fabric on the inside of the wrap (on the wings) and sew in place.
Also
cut a strip of just the loop (fuzzy part) of velcro to go across the
front of your wrap about 2" shorter than the width of the front of your
wrap (so you can leave about 1" of fabric on either side of the velcro).
Also place about 1/2 to 1"
from the top of the outside front of your wrap and sew in place.
Cut off your reference tabs and use any scrap material to lay inside your dipes for a "keep dry" effect.
____________
-
Jen's DIY fleece soaker alternate velcro placement and elastic note
-
May 7, 2008
So...I didn't really like how the fleece soakers I made were fitting
around the waist. I decided to try to do the velcro more like the BSWW
that I had made the pattern from. So...here's what you do!
After you have cut out your fabric, lay the cover that you made your pattern from on top of the
cut out and mark above and below the velcro tabs.
See the marks?
You can't really tell, but this is the hook and the loop pieces of velcro side by side (so it still makes
laundry tabs).
About 2/3 of the fastening part is hanging off the edge of the fabric. After you sew it in place,
use scissors to round the edges of the velcro.
Now it looks like this!
And fits much better!
As for the elastic...I've found the wrap fits better if I sew the elastic as close to the edge of the
fabric as possible on the back and sides.
______________
Homespun Fluff April 22, 2008
Okay, so I didn't actually spin the yarn...but yesterday (yep, in one
day), I crochetted a wool soaker for Maddalyn. It was my first attempt
so I got some plain wool yarn. I haven't lanolized it yet so I haven't
used it and can't discuss it's awesomeness in that department yet. I'm
going to try out a few more patterns and then lanolize them all.
But...here it is! Try not to let the gorgeous model distract you LOL.
__________
-
Maddalyn's first non-booby-juice meal
-
Jul 9, 2008
Maddalyn has been watching us all eat VERY intently, making little
sucking noises as we put food in our mouths, grabbing at everything when
we try to eat, has the pincer grasp down pretty well and can sit very
well with a little assistance. I am making my own baby food and knew we
had some ripe bananas just asking to be mushed in the kitchen so I gave
in...4 days shy of being 6 months old. I didn't even have a baby spoon
LOL. So I just used my finger (CLEAN, WASHED FINGER). She went from
hmmm...what's this?
To opening wide:
To gagging:
And back to opening wide and enjoying it:
Before we handed the bowl over to her eager sister:
Who just HAD to have her picture taken eating mashed banana with her finger LOL.:
That
was four days ago and she hasn't had any since. I guess I'm just
really not in a rush. I know solids in the first year are more
for learning textures and tastes and NOT necessary for nutrition. My
milk has all she needs. Though I am thinking frozen banana in one of
those mesh bags would be a good teether...
________________
I've heard the story since I was small. About how my
great-grandfather left one day to go out of town to work and never
returned. He had a heart attack and died. Dad always told me the men
in his family (his mom's side) just didn't live past their 50s. A few
years ago, he had a heart workup. They found a vein in his heart that
wasn't where it was supposed to be. Basically, when his heart pumps, it
squeezes this vein. It's a congenital defect and likely the reason my
great-grandfather (and those before him) suddenly died of a heart
attack.
My stepmom just called me. My
dad had a heart attack last night. He's alive. His EKG
looks good. He's hooked up to a kajillion cords but he's alive.
Dad
just surprised me with a visit last week. He was
looking into retirement from the prison. He told me he
just couldn't take it anymore. He works and works and then works some more. He has
been working for the prison for many years and for the State for
30. He also works at
Sears doing auto repair on his 3 days that he has off from
the prison. I could see it in his eyes. The toll it has been
taking on him. Not so much physically, but stress-related.
All
I want to do is run to him and curl up in his arms like a little
girl. The GD A/C broke in my
van this week and the heat index is well into
triple digits today. He is in Wichita (about 2 hrs away) and I can't
figure out how to run to him.
DH is at work today. He
just called me back and told me he would be home in 1 1/2 horus (how far
away he works). I hope he can figure out what's wrong with the
A/C. I know no shop is open today. I really just wanna see my Daddy.
_________
-
Trip to Wichita...update on Dad.
-
Aug 3, 2008
DH got home and we headed out to Wichita. I decided A/C or no A/C,
nothing was going to keep me from my daddy. About an hour and 15
minutes into our trip, the radio died. Not just that we didn't have
radio reception, but the whole thing went out...clock and all. A few
minutes later, the cruise control started surging. Then the gauges
completely went off and came back on. It was like the van was shutting
down. We had already past the 1st exit to El Dorado and I told DH to
take the next one. My dad lives in El Dorado as does my grandfather and
I knew we would have access to tools somehow. So, we pulled off the
turnpike and while waiting at a light...the van started sputtering and
putting. We snail crawled across a highway and coasted into the parking
lot of a hotel. I have a cell phone that I rarely use and never put
any phone numbers in. The only one I could think of was my dad's cell
phone. My stepmom said she had it so I called it...and no answer.
Somehow I pulled my dad's exwife's number out of my butt and she gave
me my grandma's number. So...grandpa to the rescue! He came and took
DH to get parts/tools while I took the kids in the hotel to stay cool.
An hour (or so) later we were back on the road WITH A/C!! Yeah.
Dad really
looked great. He looked rested and aside
from the setting and the kajillion monitors, he
looked normal. He told me the specifics of his heart attack. We
cried together a little and I told him that he HAS to slow down a little
and cut out some of the stress in his life (which he has
plenty of). I think it may be easier to stop a freight train Fred
Flintstone style than slow this man down, but I hope his wife can talk
some sense into him. His doctor was not the one
on call today and the one there did not want to make any
decisions regarding the next step in his plan of care. More than likely, he will need another heart catheterization so that they
can see what all is going on. The good news is that his
cardiac enzymes are back in the range of normal, he is eating real food
and is allowed out of his bed now. His doctor will be
in tomorrow to let him know where to go from here.
His congenital
heart deformity was found during his heart cath about two years ago.
At that time he had 50% blockage in two areas and 60% in another. They
stented one. The congenital deformity is an artery (not vein) that is
"misplaced." It should run down the back of his heart
but runs through the middle. At the time of that cath, they said
they could do a bypass to "fix" it but that since he had lived
52 years without a problem, they
didn't want to mess with it at that time. Now that he has had a heart attack, I guess
that could easily be something they consider at this time. Oh yeah,
his cholesterol has been high for some
time now but the recent tests showed it even higher.
My
grandma told me today that her generation was the
first in her father's side of the family where the men have lived to
see 60. She has her family geneology almost complete and it seems
that the men have all died of heart attacks. I wonder if
dad's congenital deformation is a family trait that just hasn't
been documented previously because of the inability to see it
(technology).
Though I feel a little more settled after having
a chance to lay my head on my daddy's chest as I have since the day I
was born, I am trying very hard not to fear what the future
brings. I mean...I KNOW we all die. That is the one thing we can
all count on in life. I know none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I'm
just not ready to lose my daddy. I guess none of us have a choice
in that matter though. I need to stay positive and not dwell on the
"what ifs" because there are way too many of those
and who knows if they would even happen...too much energy to spend
on something I can't control anyway.
Thanks for your prayers and kind words ladies. I don't feel we are out of the woods yet.
_____________
-
Dad's cardiologist's report
-
Aug 4, 2008
After monitoring dad's cardiac enzymes, EKGs, heart rhythms,
respirations and all that jazz, his cardiologist told him he didn't
think he had a heart attack but wanted to do a stress test. So...dad
passed his stress test just fine. The doctor doesn't think there is a
need for any invasive procedures at this time and has released him home.
Wonderful news!
Dad told me sorry I made the
trip for nothing. I laughed and told him it wasn't for nothing. I
got to give my daddy love...and...got my A/C fixed. He laughed.
I hope this is an
eye opener though. I hope that several of the stressors
in his life can be reduced because he is under WAY to much
and he internalizes everything. He rarely
speaks to anyone about his inner turmoil or physical
ailments. I wish he had a stress outlet.
Thank you ladies for your prayers and support!
Love,
A much more at peace Jen
_________
-
Quite possibly my scariest night as a parent
-
Nov 6, 2008
Maddalyn is almost 10 months old. She loves exercising her pincer
grasp...aka she picks up every small speck on the floor and shoves it in
her mouth. Last night, DH found a piece of taffy in her mouth (thanks
Sissy) and moments later he said "now there's something blue." I pulled
it out and tasted it. It was not candy but something bitter. I tossed
it in the trash and wiped up her face and tried to get the blue off her
tongue.
We went about our night normal. Supper,
TV time, reading books...but something was wrong with
Maddalyn. She kept rocking herself back and forth. She'd rock, then
lay her head down, then rock. After I got the other kids in
bed, I told DH it was really kinda freaking me out. He agreed.
I thought back to that
little blue thing. What if it were a
pill of some sort? Joseph is on meds for ADHD. I checked his pills
and they were all there. I utilize child safety caps
and keep meds up high. I decided to dig that blue thing out of the
trash. HORROR. It WAS a pill. It was an outer capsule that seemed to
be 1/2 a pill and powder on the inside. I put it in a baggie
and headed to the ER.
The ER was a nightmare. They couldn't tell
what the pill was (and I didn't expect them to but thought maybe
they could test it or something) so they decided to
give her charcoal. The charcoal binds to
any medicine in the stomach and absorbs it so it doesn't get
any more into her system...but whatever had
already seeped into her blood supply was
there. So, here they come with a long,
fat syringe filled with black fluid. Maddalyn
doesn't like taking medicine. 1/4
tsp is hard enough. I knew the syringe wasn't going to work. They
tried, failed and brought a bottle. Yeah...she's never had a
bottle in her life. I put it in her mouth, she kinda bit it
just enough to let out some of the charcoal and she clamped her
mouth shut. They ended up putting a tube up her nose and down into her
stomach, sucking out the contents of her stomach and filling it with
charcoal. That was 9:40 p.m. and that is when the crying
started...accompanying the nonstop movement.
Poor baby
was so tired but could not sleep. She was unconsolable. The
doctor told me they needed to do a urine drug screen since we
didn't know what she took. The nurses asked if
I wanted to leave the room for it. Oh HELL NO! Did I want to be
witness? No. But my baby needed me. Her needs come first. With their
1st attempt, she peed...but
not into the catheter or anything else...just all over the bed.
After their 2nd attempt, I told them to quit. They weren't going to
get her cathed.
They just left us in this small, HOT room. Around
midnight, I took Maddalyn out of our room into kind of...well, the
nurse's station. It was cooler and she started calming down and fell
asleep. Seeing her asleep, the doctor released us. She had been crying
for 2 1/2 hours nonstop with nothing comforting her. She cried at the
breast, she cried while I sang, she cried while I rubbed her back, she
cried while I bounced her...but now she was finally asleep and we left.
That sleep
was short-lived. She woke as I put her in the car seat. She
bawled all the way home. Once home, she cried until 3:00 a.m. when
she finally just stopped...stopped crying, stopped wiggling and fell
asleep. I was afraid to move her too much for fear she would wake
again so I just kept her in my arms as she fell asleep and sat in the
chair. We slept there until 7:00 a.m.
So
far today, she seems fine. I expected her to either be really
tired or really crabby and she isn't either. So far, she's taken normal
naps and is playing fine.
I still have absolutely NO idea
what she ingested or where she found it. The only scenario I
can come up with was that it was one of Drake's ADHD meds. He hasn't
been home in 2 months but when he was, I trusted him to take his meds.
I would have to tell him to do so, but I didn't always WATCH him take
them. I wonder if he ditched them somewhere instead of taking them.
Although, I have rearranged and even steam cleaned the carpets since he
left. He has been on ADHD meds for 7 years...and Maddalyn is the 3rd
toddler that's been in the house since then. If Drake drops his pills,
he is very good about telling me so that we can look for them together.
I'm glad she is feeling well today and hope that there are no long-term effects. Definitely a very, very scary night.
______________
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Well, I turned out just fine
-
Dec 4, 2008
As a society, we learn more and more every second of every day. Part
of what we learn discredits what we have known in the past.
Would
a parent drive around town without having their baby in a carseat?
(Okay, I have seen a few that do but I'm talking in general here.) No,
because we now understand there are ways to prevent infant/child
harm/death by restraining them in a seat made specifically for their
safety.
In the early 70s, there were no laws about carseats for
children. I was swaddled in a blanket and placed on the floorboard in
the backseat of the car. You know what? I turned out "just fine."
How
many parents now know the dangers of second-hand smoke? I guarantee it
is many more than in the 70s when my parents would take me to
smoke-filled bowling alleys or to my grandparents' house. Aside from a
little asthma (which does also seem to be a hereditary trait in our
family), I turned out "just fine."
My grandma fed her babies not
by breast and not with formula but with watered down cans of evaporated
milk. My mom, aunts and uncles...all 7 of them thrived without any
major medical problems...turning out "just fine."
Our role as
parents is to assess risks and not subject our children to them. When
are we as a society going to stop taking unnecessary risks with our
children's health merely because we "turned out just fine" when there is
evidence and knowledge that a better way exists?
Do you want to
be the best parent that you can be (with the knowledge you have
available to you at the time) to ensure you give your children the best
start in life...or you want them to merely turn out "just fine?"____________
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Santa brought me...erm...Maddalyn a Goodmama!!!
-
Dec 6, 2008
For those of you that use cloth, you know the joy of fluffy mail.
Imagine walking to your mailbox late in the evening and seeing a package
that looks like fluff...but knowing you don't have any on the way. You
pull out the package and take a look at the return address....but, it's
your OWN address. What is this?? Hmmm...tear the package open and
find a note and....A GOODMAMA!!!!
OMG! I never have had anything so SWEET happen to me. I would never
buy a Goodmama myself because they are too expensive for me...and yet
here I am...holding a squishy, soft BEAUTIFUL Goodmama in my very own
hands.
Thank you my Secret Santa...thank you SO much.
